Table 1 Examples of quotations, codes, categories and key concepts based on interview data

1

It was a bit scary at first ‘cause it felt like... (silence) I got scared and didn’t know much about his (the father’s) illness then... I didn’t know if it was really bad cancer or... more okay cancer... so then I got scared... It was good talking to her (the interventionist) and, and lots of information... yeah, more about dad’s illness and if, y’know, if they could cure it and... and that (8–12 years old)

Increased knowledge about the illness

Increased knowledge about the illness

Bringing knowledge about illness

2

Or yeah, I thought the... arrangements we figured out were really good, especially everything about... school and all, that was such a relief and has helped me (13–19 years old)

School

Getting help with support outside the family

Addressing the needs of the children

3

They do things I can’t cope with, they’ve dealt with them instead of me, like getting hold of a psychologist and so on, showed me who I can turn to and stuff like that (13–19 years old)

Professional conversational therapy

4

Because... like... you can talk about your thoughts and... and not just, like... ‘cause otherwise you might just walk around thinking about it a lot... and... you could just... you can just... like... I don’t know how to explain it but... (silence). I mean so you don’t just ignore it but you face it... yeah... so you aren’t just in your own little bubble if I can call it that (8–12 years old)

A possibility to put words onto thoughts and feelings

Getting help to find strengths to maintain everyday life

5

So yeah, this is what I do about most things... things that upset me... yeah, I just try to focus on what’s good (13–19 years old)

Helped to identify strengths

6

Yeah, we talked about how it’s important to still y’know... yeah but they’ve sort of given me ideas... about how you should... keep moving forward and, like, still do things and so on... yeah... (13–19 years old)

The importance of continuing everyday life outside of the family

7

I guess it was so you would... so everybody would start talking to each other again... yeah, ‘cause we didn’t talk to each other a whole lot (8–12 years old)

Opening up for conversation among family members

Improved or unchanged family communication

Breaking the silence together as a family

8

Then we were sitting in the kitchen talking about... um... when dad... um... that time when he started coughing blood... yeah, and so it was happening while we were talking about it and then we talked about, like, what we should do if it happened again... yeah, and then we should... first of all call an ambulance (8–12 years old)

Situation related to illness

Preparedness

Continuing the family dialogue, moving on and facing the future

9

Um... what we were talking about... um... um... what she would like to be wearing when she was buried... and, yeah, right, but... like what music and what food we should eat at the funeral and... how we should be dressed and so on... so it was like mostly that stuff, um... yeah, but... (sighs) I mean... it felt good... like we had everything under control... or not everything, but... most things... (8–12 years old)

That was I guess we went through your will and a bit about your funeral and how you want that to be (13–19 years old)

Funeral and will

10

Um... ‘cause if you start talking late (the interviewer has asked if FTI came at the right time) then maybe you’re sort of a bit more prepared, you might say... for what’s going to happen... (8–12 years old)

Death

11

But me, I notice we’ve started cleaning up more and so on... we already knew how but it wasn’t something we had to do... back then a few years ago, but now we have to... now, when it’s messy we have to clean up (8–12 years old)

And we talked about Dad’s sickness and things we divided up that we had to do at our house so it wouldn’t be too much stuff for Dad that he usually did or if he got mad if he had to do things he didn’t want to do so we made a schedule — Yeah really! (8–12 years old)

Helping more with household chores

Continuing everyday life with the family

12

That we got to talk to each other... and maybe... yeah, not just talking but being together (8–12 years old)

Starting to spend more time together

13

But then they gave us tips about... that we should go out for walks and talk (13–19 years old)

How to integrate communication in everyday life